Friday, 1 April 2011

guilty pleasures

I've started to notice that I have an extremely irrational relationship with the concept of guilt.

I'm not quite sure if I'd be classified as a worrier, but I do seem to feel the effects of stress easily. I also chastise myself for the strangest things. I set myself unorthodox 'goals', and if these are not achieved, I get upset. Sometimes I might even weep at my ineptitude.

When it comes to feeling guilty, any sense of rationality goes right out the proverbial window.

Some people are wracked with unquantifiable amounts of self-reproach if they cheat on their partner; others when they've 'somehow' managed to devour a family-sized chocolate bar in its entirety, in one sitting.

Alcohol consumption has become a recent source of shame on my part. Not because I should be attending AA sessions or anything. But, rather than being innocently rose-tinted, my beer goggles have developed an increasingly green hue. This means that I turn into a jealous, paranoid, generally-not-oh-so-nice individual, with the subsequent effect of feeling like a complete turd the day after the night before.

Finance is also a major source of remorse: those strings can always be tighter on that purse. So much so, that I impose ridiculous spending regulations on myself that are, on occasions, completely unwarranted. And then I'll go and splurge fifty quid on utter crap in some online 'flash sale'. Go figure.

And so it continues. Until I find that spider spinning its web.

1 comment:

  1. i'm sorry i made you flash sale :(
    i love you.
    share the guilt x